Show Me, Don’t Pretend

This is me. I don’t own an iron. I toss it in the dryer. If that doesn’t work I won’t wear it. I think makeup is fun but I’m not wearing it every day and I love that I don’t have to do my hair or lay my edges every morning. I don’t want to be influenced. I’m not 100% interested in being an influencer. There are certain aspects that I like and others that I despise. Let’s get into it!

So, to socially influence is to change a person’s, beliefs, attitudes, or behavior, intentionally and unintentionally. It comes in many forms, but the main three are:

  • Conformity: changing your beliefs or behavior to fit in with a group.
  • Compliance: agreeing to do something another person asks of you.
  • Obedience: doing exactly what one tells you to. There is no choice; you just do it 😉

Generally, companies use social influencers for marketing and sales, and influencers use you for a small percentage if you click their link or use their coupon code. I don’t see a problem if the chosen influencer genuinely likes the product or store and they think you should know about it. That’s life.

We find stores or face creams and pass them to our besties every day.  *shrug*

If Target, Walmart, some random thrift store or any of my other favorite stores offered me a deal to show off the things I bought and put together outfits, I’d take it. That’s a real deal; they’ve been confiscating my money for years.

I’d review concerts and music festivals because that’s my thing. If I organically want to try something like temporary hair dyes or cremes, I’d do that too.

But if a vegan chef calls it’s a no for me dawg. I like meat, dairy and no one can stop me from buying the $10 genuine leather purse I found at the thrift store.

I don’t see many social media influencers being selective or genuine in their promotions and that’s what I don’t like.

Consider this widespread scenario: We have an influencer who enjoys the gym, has good genes, or has a surgically enhanced body. This person is offered a deal to promote a weight loss drink they’ve never tried. They make a 60-second video about how much they love the beverage, how it helped them over the years, and how you should use their promo code, right now! Boom! Thousands of young, impressionable followers jump at the chance to purchase with hopes of one day looking like the other, #bodygoals! Nah.


I don’t follow many influencers. The ones I do follow seem more family oriented than anything. My top 5 are:

  1. Jayde Kamille
  2. Fancy Lexy
  3. The Ellises
  4. Love Milan Marie
  5. Dlolo

Their pages are lighthearted and fun. They document their lives but not their every move, and all of their endorsements makes sense.

Jayde reviews books and plays in make-up. Fancy Lexy makes delicious looking meals for her family, does her manicures and buys pretty glasses when she gets off work. One of the recipes I’ve tried, and it’s been a Superbowl, NBA Finals hit ever since.

The Ellises tackle millennial parenting, careers and marriage with fun videos. Love Milan Marie is a funny two-year-old with her own clothing line and I’ve never seen Dlolo, a style guru, review a product that wasn’t practical or that I haven’t seen her use or wear more than once.

I love pictures and videos. However, I don’t want a camera in my hand 24/7; some moments I wish just to enjoy. I never want to feel obligated to use each moment as an opportunity for promotion. I don’t want to influence anybody to be anything other than themselves. Like what you like, do what you want to do. I only want to wear my weird clothes, take pictures, write about my experiences, vlog them when necessary, and monetize of being me. It sounds crazy contradictory, I know but I’ll figure it out. Right now, no one knows me, so we’ll cross that path when we get there.
Until then be free, be wild, be you, and stop letting people influence you to buy bullshit you’ll never use.

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